The Urinals Are Talking to Me
Bars in New Mexico install talking urinals with anti-drunk-driving messages. I’m not sure how I’d react if I had to come across it in a half-pissed state.
Here’s one guy’s take on it.
The Urinals Are Talking to Me
Another Saturday night, and you and your buddies have been drinking and playing pool in your local New Mexico bar. You go to the men’s room, but you’ve barely unzipped your pants before the urinal starts talking to you.
In a women’s voice.
The urinal says, “Hey there, big guy.” (Let’s be honest, it’s always nice to be addressed as a big guy when a talking urinal is checking out your package.) “Having a few drinks? Then listen up.”
That’s right, a company named Wizmark, is manufacturing an “interactive urinal communicator” as a means of advertising products and policies (like the “don’t drink and drive” message in New Mexico bars). The interactive part refers to the fact that the device will talk, sing or play sound effects either when someone is close enough to activate the system or, yes, pees on it.
Since women never drink (and only a few—most notably Paris Hilton and Jessica Simpson—are known to follow the advice of talking toilets), Wizmark has concentrated solely on the lucrative urinal market at this point in time. As they put it, the communicator “effectively assures your ad will attract the attention of, and be read by, the ever elusive targeted male audience you are constantly aiming for.”
I don’t know, though. The drunk driving thing sounds pretty bizarre. If I was having a few beers with my friends and went to the restroom, being confronted by a female talking urinal would probably be enough to make me run out of the restroom screaming and send me straight to my car to escape.
And as for advertisements, I can’t think of a product in the world that I would want to purchase after peeing on it in a urinal in a men’s room in New Mexico.
Some things are just not meant to have voices. It’s too late to silence George W., but surely it’s not to late to make the bathrooms of our fine country free from talking urinal devices. Surely we can agree on that!
Point of view blog: Confessions of an Amateur Queer
Here’s one guy’s take on it.
The Urinals Are Talking to Me
Another Saturday night, and you and your buddies have been drinking and playing pool in your local New Mexico bar. You go to the men’s room, but you’ve barely unzipped your pants before the urinal starts talking to you.
In a women’s voice.
The urinal says, “Hey there, big guy.” (Let’s be honest, it’s always nice to be addressed as a big guy when a talking urinal is checking out your package.) “Having a few drinks? Then listen up.”
That’s right, a company named Wizmark, is manufacturing an “interactive urinal communicator” as a means of advertising products and policies (like the “don’t drink and drive” message in New Mexico bars). The interactive part refers to the fact that the device will talk, sing or play sound effects either when someone is close enough to activate the system or, yes, pees on it.
Since women never drink (and only a few—most notably Paris Hilton and Jessica Simpson—are known to follow the advice of talking toilets), Wizmark has concentrated solely on the lucrative urinal market at this point in time. As they put it, the communicator “effectively assures your ad will attract the attention of, and be read by, the ever elusive targeted male audience you are constantly aiming for.”
I don’t know, though. The drunk driving thing sounds pretty bizarre. If I was having a few beers with my friends and went to the restroom, being confronted by a female talking urinal would probably be enough to make me run out of the restroom screaming and send me straight to my car to escape.
And as for advertisements, I can’t think of a product in the world that I would want to purchase after peeing on it in a urinal in a men’s room in New Mexico.
Some things are just not meant to have voices. It’s too late to silence George W., but surely it’s not to late to make the bathrooms of our fine country free from talking urinal devices. Surely we can agree on that!
Point of view blog: Confessions of an Amateur Queer
posted by Ace In The Hole at 4:25 AM
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